“Chile, please, that man can leave you at any given time. Your kids are forever.” This is a statement that I hear far too often. You are correct, that any man could leave. But what I think we often forget is marriage is supposed to be forever. I will always speak in the context of husband and wife because I’m a wife, even though I’m not married. I operate in the capacity of a wife because I want to be a wife. I am purposed to be a wife. I speak from the perspective of what I believe a wife should do in these types of scenarios. When you get married, you get married forever. People don’t take the sanctity of marriage as serious anymore like they used to…speaking as a divorced woman who has regrets later on in life.
It’s so easy to walk away from marriage, but that was never the original intent. We were supposed to get married to be married for a life time. Your kids however….will not need active parenting forever. The entire point of being a parent is to raise your children to eventually not need you. And the reality is, your children are going to go on to get married, and have their own families, and their own children. Your children literally leave you. Now, true enough, they will always be your babies. I am sure you all will visit one another. But as far as your day-to-day, your kids are not going to be in your life day-to-day. That man is supposed to be. And in all actuality that man, your husband, is who will help your process the emotional trails who children often take us through. We parent for an average of 25 years will we rear our children and walk them into their adulthood. Our marriage with our significant others carry us for the remaining 30 or 40 years we have after our children leave the nest.
That man is supposed to be who takes care of you in your old age or you take care of him in old age. Our children are forced to do that because we don’t have men due to this thinking. It is disheartening to hear people say kids are forever because we shouldn’t want them here forever. We should want to raise our children into successful adults. The joy of sending our children out into the world well prepared with all the foundational things they will need to operate as a self-sufficient adult in healthy relationships and marriages is unmatched. Watching our children thrive without needing our constant watch provides an sense of pride only a true parent could understand. That’s just my opinion, though.
