Valued
“It’s hard to get women not to treat everything like a chore. Most don’t want a man on his square, because then they would have to listen. ” This is something that a man commented on a post of mine. When I set up to create response, I bet the thought was that I was coming for some conflict, but I am not. Some women don’t be listening! We don’t want to take instruction. We don’t want to be told what to do, but there is a reason why. A very valid reason in my opinion. Because we don’t feel safe. We don’t feel valued. We don’t feel protected. We don’t feel provided for.
If you are a man that is handling his business then the woman in your life is going to recognize that and appreciate that leadership quality. And being that a trait of a good leader is having great communication skills. This type of man will be happy to share the plans so the woman he is intetes, “Babe I’m doing this, so you don’t have to. In order for me to continue to do these things for you, I need you to do these things for me. Can you do that for me?”
Nine times out of ten, that woman is gonna say, “Yes.” But all of that is based off of what? Communication. You’re letting me know what you need. When a man shares this type of information the woman is his life knows how it’s going to benefit the both of them. You’re letting me know how it’s going to benefit our future. There are a lot of men that do not want to give instruction. The idea that those type of mean share is that because they believe making all the money and paying all the bills is enough. That is not true at all. That does not equate leadership.
Leadership
Leadership is sharing knowledge and teaching the woman you care about so she is also prepared for life. Leadership is you instructing me. As a man, providing advice to the woman you are romantically involved with helps build trust. That new found trust leads to a feeling a safety that we need as women to follow a man’s lead.
Leadership is you showing me, “Babe we’re going to do this, so, long-term, we can do this,” and actually showing us the actionable steps that you’re taking as well as, the progress. When we see all of that, oh, baby, we listen with both ears open and mouth shut! You are giving us everything we need to feel secure, provided for, and protected. When we don’t feel those things, we don’t listen out of fear of being left in a place of detriment. We feel the need to protect ourselves when placed in that position. It is a very vulnerable state to be in to trust a man wholeheartedly when you don’t know his intention or you don’t know the plan.
If you ever wake up one day and decide to change your mind, then what? What do we do then? So, you have to make us feel included in the details. It will never be discouraged to also ensure as your woman, we are protected and provide for long term so we can shut up and listen for a life time instead of a short time!