You are human.
There was a time in my life where I really struggled forgiving myself. I held myself to an unobtainable standard. I couldn’t make mistakes, I had to be perfect. I wanted to be everything to everyone. I created this idea of perfection in my mind and anytime that I was not perfect, I would be overwhelmed with the sense of worry and guilt, as I would constantly run the worst case scenario back in my mind. I would be so afraid that if I tried to do something else that I would fail at it and so it would keep me hostage. Anybody else relate to that? It wasn’t until I became a little older that I recognized that if I allow the mistakes that I’ve made in my past to keep me held hostage. I will never grow into the greatness that I know I am destined for.
Step One- Acknowledge that you are human
The first thing that I had to do in order to start forgiving myself was accept and acknowledge that I am human. God made me with emotions and made me a flesh and gave me free will. And this is the first time that I’ve ever done some of these things. I’ve never been a parent before, I’ve never been a wife before. I’ve never been in this situation before. How can I expect myself to be perfect? Accepting that I am human and I am going to make mistakes. Is the first step. And acknowledging that you’ve never done this before. So give yourself a little grace. Show yourself some mercy. Is necessary to forgive yourself when you make a mistake.
Step Two- Become self aware
Becoming self aware was the second most important thing that I had to learn to do in forgiving myself. Identifying where I dropped the ball. Identifying where I fell short. Is more important than identifying what other people did. Why? Because we can’t control anybody else. We can only control ourselves. So instead of focusing on a person or an outside variable and how that affected you, I’m going to focus on how I could have responded differently. How I could have handled it differently? So identifying where I dropped the ball, where I messed up gives me something that I can fix in me.
Step Three- Offer changed behavior
And lastly, offering change behavior as the most sincerest apology is the biggest thing in forgiving myself. No matter what the mistake is, I am human and I acknowledge that. I am identifying where I messed up and I am finding the resources and tools that I need to make that. Long or right is the best thing that I’ve ever done in learning to forgive myself. And hopefully with all of those things, the person that I have wronged will know that I sincerely want to do my best and they also accept my apology. But if they don’t, I have to move on in life because I’ve got great things to do. And I can’t let this one mistake hinder me from all the greatness that I could be offering to the world. And that is the greatest motivator in forgiving yourself so that you can go on to be better and have so much more to offer even more to people.